Talking about sexuality is still taboo in our society. Whether it’s the frequency of intercourse, practices, or desire, these are topics that are rarely discussed, even with our loved ones. Very quickly, comparisons arise: “Are we having sex often enough?”, “Is it normal not to feel like it?”, “Do other couples experience the same thing?” These questions fuel complexes and doubts about oneself, one’s relationship and one’s normality.

During pregnancy, libido and frequency of intercourse will generally change. This can lead to an even greater feeling of distance within the couple, a feeling that is often influenced by social norms and expectations.

How does sexuality work for pregnant women during pregnancy?

During the first few weeks of pregnancy, libido often decreases. This is easily explained: intense fatigue, nausea, sore breasts, hypersensitivity, anxiety related to early pregnancy, fear of miscarriage… All these factors can dampen the desire for sex. And that’s normal, as the body is undergoing major changes and the mind is focused on this big new development. It is important to remember that this decrease in libido is temporary for many and in no way reflects the strength or quality of the relationship.

The second trimester is often referred to as the “honeymoon” period of pregnancy. And with good reason: hormones stabilise, fatigue decreases, moods lighten, anxiety recedes… and libido returns! Some women even experience a tenfold increase in desire during this period. The body, more relaxed and at ease, allows for renewed pleasure and intimacy in sexuality. This is a time when intimacy can be particularly fulfilling.

With the arrival of the last trimester, libido may decline again. The belly is larger, sleep is disturbed, and physical discomfort is more prevalent. Added to this are anxieties related to childbirth and the imminent arrival of the baby. Self-image is sometimes undermined, and desire may naturally diminish. Once again, there is no norm: some women feel very sensual right up to the end, while others need distance. The most important thing is to listen to yourself.

And what about the partner in all this?

We talk a lot about the libido of pregnant women, but very little about that of their partners. However, it is also subject to significant changes and can have a real impact on the balance of the couple.

Some partners will find that their desire remains intact or even increases. Others, on the contrary, may experience a decrease in libido.

Why? There are several reasons:

• Physical changes: seeing your partner’s body change can create a sense of distance or destabilisation.
• Fear of causing harm: the fear of hurting the baby or causing a miscarriage is common, even if it is irrational in the vast majority of cases.
• The feeling of being a threesome: as soon as the baby starts moving, it can change the perception of intimacy.
• A deep sense of serenity: some people feel such a sense of well-being and fulfilment during pregnancy that they no longer feel the need for an active sex life. This is not a rejection of the other person, but a form of complete satisfaction with the emotional bond.

It is essential to also include these experiences in the discussion about sexuality during pregnancy, in order to break free from clichés and allow everyone to feel legitimate in what they feel.

How can intimacy be maintained in a relationship despite fluctuations in libido?

Being creative in the way you love each other can really help to maintain intimacy during pregnancy. Sexuality is not just about penetration: caresses, massages, kisses, moments of tenderness, a meal shared together… These are all ways to nurture the emotional connection within the couple. When sexual intercourse is on hold or less frequent, it is entirely possible to maintain closeness through these everyday gestures.

It is also an opportunity to reinvent your sexuality. By adapting positions for greater comfort, placing more emphasis on foreplay or simply taking more time, couples can discover new ways of connecting. Pregnancy can thus become a period of exploration of a gentler, slower sexuality, more attentive to oneself and one’s partner.

Throughout all of this, communication remains essential. Nothing is more toxic than things left unsaid. Being able to talk about your feelings, desires, or doubts helps to avoid misunderstandings and misinterpretations. Expressing your emotions creates a climate of trust and strengthens intimacy.

Finally, it is essential never to force yourself. It is normal to experience a decrease in libido, especially during such an intense period as pregnancy. Feeling obliged to have sex to please your partner can lead to discomfort and frustration. It is therefore crucial to respect your own limits, to dare to set them kindly and to listen to those of your partner.

And after pregnancy?

The post-pregnancy period is a time of transition. The body has undergone a major transformation, and it is essential to allow yourself time before resuming sexual activity. There is no universal timeframe, no ideal moment: every woman and every couple progresses at their own pace. What matters is to take it slowly, gently and, above all, without pressure.

Initially, caresses, tender moments and foreplay can help to recreate a form of intimacy. Once again, dialogue remains a central pillar: talking about your feelings, apprehensions, desires and fears helps to preserve intimacy and avoid misunderstandings.

It is also crucial to listen to your body. If pain occurs, it is not normal and should be taken seriously. Do not hesitate to slow down, wait longer, or even consult a professional if the discomfort persists. The important thing is not to rush, to respect your feelings and to allow yourself to take care of yourself, quite simply.

Pregnancy, with all the changes it brings to our bodies and hearts, also disrupts our relationship with intimacy. Changes in libido, doubts, silences, questioning… All of this is deeply human and, above all, deeply normal. There is no such thing as “ideal” sexuality during pregnancy. There are only unique experiences, valid feelings, and couples who seek balance over the months.

In conclusion

In a society where we still talk too little – or too badly – about sexuality, it is essential to reiterate that changes in a couple’s intimate life are natural. It is neither a sign of failure nor an anomaly. It is simply life evolving, the bond being redefined, sometimes with pauses, sometimes with new impulses.

Let’s learn to listen to each other, to speak without fear, and not to compare ourselves to others. Because every couple writes their own story, and the most important thing is respect, kindness, and connection to each other, whatever form that takes.

Thank you for reading. If this article resonated with you, feel free to share your experience or ask questions in the comments. Above all, take care of yourself, your body and your relationship. See you soon for another article on sexuality after pregnancy.